Better parents (+audio).

There is only one mother. Mother even if she is made of vinegar. Mother, mother, mother. When you give birth all the edges of your life go down a step in the ranking of priorities. The absolute winner of all your forces and energies is that creature that has just been born and it is completely your responsibility…, although…, completely?

Being a good mother is more than a commitment or an aspiration, it is a social imposition. A good mother has to be there for her children, to accompany them, to understand them, to support them, to educate them. There are many who have something to say about it, those who point out the mistakes and whisper in the neighborhood about Marquitos’ mother. But what about Marquitos’ father?

With paternity, there are far fewer sayings and remarks. It seems that by fertilizing the egg, enough work has been done. Dad has a job. Dad has to bring money into the house. Dad has to support the family. Well, for decades now, Mom has been doing this too.

The only difference is that, in addition to working, the responsibilities usually fall more heavily on them. If you haven’t ironed uniforms, helped with homework, taken or picked up the kid from school, gone to «parent» meetings, listened to the teacher’s complaints, prepared snacks, taken the kid to the park or played ball, you’re definitely a passive parent. You’re just there for the sake of saying you are. And that’s not what you want either.

Not to say that there are no men who are dedicated and committed to their fatherhood, proud of their children and attentive to their needs. But we are normalizing an ornamental fatherhood where the man, although present, is less involved in the upbringing.

The absentee father, the one who only sends the monthly allowance, who only comes on vacations or weekends, is also a more common and socially accepted phenomenon than it should be. On the other hand, absentee mothers, far fewer of them, are questioned, branded as bad people and even punished by law. It is not a question of equating bad behaviors, a child is a gift, and a responsibility, but it is the responsibility of two.

We cannot continue to romanticize the figure of the woman who plays the role of mother and father. It is unfair and conformist. We do not need more strong women who go to great lengths to make the family go forward, we need better fathers.

…ONLINE AUDIO

Written by   Thalía García  journalism student.