«I just can’t, I can’t…»
At this point I’m not sure if Yanelis Lopez Mesa will come to #Matanzas this August 5th. She told me: «I just can’t, I just can’t…»
We are almost the same age and interviewing her from afar is easy, I don’t think I could look her in the eyes. Without knowing her personally I can say that she lost the greatest love of her life.
At some point she wrote: «They thought you were gone, I still don’t believe it, the only thing that life didn’t realize was that when you disappeared, my desires, my dreams, my opportunities, my hopes, my plans and above all my reasons to move forward also disappeared all at once».
From the Radio 26 news booth we all become silent, in audio a broken voice is heard. «They were the blackest and hardest days of my 32 years».
It hurts to edit, and we respect her pauses and silences that say a lot.
She was with her husband when she received the news: «I have to go to Matanzas with the pipe, it is urgent».
Then came the worried words, the «take care of yourself and stay away from danger». She saw Raciel Alonso Martínez Naranjo, a pipe fitter at the Union of Military Constructions (UCM) in Havana, leave that day.
It is our turn to edit her audio for the radio documentary, and from this side of the booth we feel her crying. She relives daily the desperation, the uncertainty. Our production team asked for her consent, she was brave.
She has better days than others and the family support has been invaluable. I guess living without him is like living half-heartedly. There are many things that cannot be explained and she feels that Raciel protects her and gives her strength.
That is why she writes: «I promised you that I would achieve what you would have done in life, and this has been my maxim, and it has been what has kept me going, just to achieve part of what we had planned to do in life together. Only until I achieve it, I promise to hold on and not collapse the pieces that are left of me, once I achieve my purpose, only life will know what it has in store for me».
We inform her of what is going to take place during these days. She repeats, «I am not sure if I will be able to return to Matanzas», but I know that after finishing this text she will come for both .
Written by Yunielys Moliner Isasi.
